Love One Another
Summer and Fall 2021
“I have come to feel that the primary reality of which we have to take account in seeking for a Christian impact on public life is the Christian congregation. How is it possible that the gospel should be credible, that people should come to believe that the power which has the last word in human affairs is represented by a man hanging on a cross? I am suggesting that the only answer, the only hermeneutic of the gospel, is a congregation of men and women who believe it and live by It.”
I have grown fond of saying: “Books don’t change your life, but paragraphs do!” This short paragraph by Lesslie Newbigin makes it into my top ten. I love this quote because in it, Newbigin, a Scottish theologian who spent nearly thirty years as a missionary Bishop in India, never wavers from his compulsion that the Good News of Jesus Christ is public truth—that it moves us to mission—to becoming loving witnesses to our friends, neighbors, and coworkers.
But in provoking us to this mission, Newbigin never lets us forget that our ultimate hermeneutic (or “proof”) of the Good News of Jesus is a church that believes this Gospel and lives it out in love for one another. This quote reminds me that my loving actions and loving words shared with my non-Christian neighbors will only go so far as the loving relationships that I experience in my church. The “proof is in the church” so to speak.
And so, this summer and early fall, we are going to spend ten weeks delving into this radical love of Jesus that we are called to exhibit. Each week our goal will remain twofold: We will seek (1) to articulate different facets of this “one-anothering” love, and we will urge you (2) to live out this love as a vital component of Christ’s mission in the world.
In light of these goals, we would ask you to, first, consider taking up this Sermon Series in a learning community of some sort this summer and fall, perhaps in your community group or a “Table for Six” that hits it off. If you don’t have a group, let us pastors know–we will help you find one!
Make a commitment to meeting weekly or bi-monthly through mid-October, when the series concludes. Second, consider purchasing: Love One Another: Becoming the Church Jesus Longs For, by Gerald Sittser. The chapter content is slightly uneven in parts, but on the whole, this is a wonderful book. The Discussion Questions at the end of the book are worth its price because they will urge your group toward deeper reflection and intentional action. Please find a sample set of questions from Chapter 1 below. Also, bonus (!), Gerald Sittser will be our guest speaker on Sunday, October 24th!
Finally, one word of caution as you read this overview. It is a mere summary! Nuance and subtlety won’t make it into the descriptions of these mutuality commands. For instance, should a spouse “forbear” with an abusive spouse, and if so, then what does that look like? Delicate and difficult situations like this one will be taken up in the teachings and follow-up discussions.
One other Consideration:
But why the Church? I have relationships in my neighborhood, where I work, and with my family. Why do I want to clutter my life with more relationships? I’m struggling to manage the ones I currently have!
As a pastor, I have been met by this question several times over the years. In seeking to address it, we can take this question far beneath the surface and ask deeper questions: Before we question the church, let’s ask, but why God? And, if there is a God, how might you connect with God? And why do you connect through Scripture? Through Sacrament? Through Spirit? Through the church and her people? It is imperative to endeavor an answer to these theological questions. However, for our purposes here I’d like to start on the surface of things: Why is it important to take time to cultivate relationships in the church? Why is it worth the investment of loving one another in the context of the church? Why is being connected to a local church integral to your life? Again, there are deep theological answers to these questions, but let’s be practical…
The Church helps you…
- Form relationships that cross class lines in both directions.
- Form relationships that bridge ethnicity and nationality.
- Form relationships with our country’s immigrant population.
- Form relationships that transcend religious belief and political affiliation.
- Become a nicer neighbor.
- Become a better citizen.
- Help the needy (more than twice as likely to help as a non-church goer).
- Volunteer more of your time and talent, both to church causes (10.5 more hours per month than non-churchgoers) and nonreligious causes (6.4 more hours per month).
- Volunteer more of your treasure (money), both to church causes (4x more generous than non-churchgoers) and nonreligious causes (4x more generous).
- Become healthier.
- Become happier.
- Stay connected to your children (less preponderance of estranged relationships).
- Live longer.
*Data for this list is available in Robert Putnam’s American Grace, perhaps the most sociologically robust treatment on the church in American ever attempted. Dr. Putnam is a political scientist at Harvard and, though not a practicing Christian, contends that society is healthier and people are happier when connected to religious communities.
**In his chapter on service, Putnam summarizes: “Frequent churchgoers are more likely to:
- Give money to a charity
- Do volunteer work for a charity
- Give money to a homeless person
- Give excess change back to a shop clerk
- Donate blood
- Help someone outside their own household with housework
- Spend time with someone who is a bit down
- Allow a stranger to cut in front of them
- Offer a seat to a stranger
- Help someone find a job
Table of Contents
Week 1: A new commandment - Jesus loves us so we love one another
John 13:1-17, 34-35 | August 1, 2021
“A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one Another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples; if you love one another.“
Jesus has just washed his disciple’s feet as a symbolic expression of his servant love. Jesus, the God who has intricately designed the vascular system on a blade of grass and flung the rings around Saturn, uses his phalanges to scrape off caked mud stuck between Thomas’s toes. Then he issues this new command.
Jesus knew the “silver rule” of antiquity: “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done unto you.” He also understood the “golden rule” and taught it: “Do unto others as you want done unto you.” Here, Jesus goes platinum and issues a new rule: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Jesus loves us through service and sacrifice. He calls us to love one another through service and sacrifice. How do we do this? Supposedly, there are fifty-nine “one another” commands in the New Testament. That’s right—fifty-nine! And they are not suggestions, but commands! Wow! I’m already intimidated.
Here is the Good News. We believe with deep conviction that only Jesus can give us the strength through the power of the Holy Spirit to live out this kind of radical love with one another. By his grace alone! And by that grace, living out these “one another” imperatives, often called “mutuality commands,” becomes a vital demonstration of the vibrant love of Christ both for the church and for the world!
Gerald Sittser writes: “Surprisingly, the church’s success in this [missional] endeavor depends on only one thing: not great wealth, political power, sophisticated technology, superior organization, great preaching, public rallies, big buildings or creative programs, but the mutual love shared within the community of faith. The quality of relationships among Christians makes the church an effective witness for the gospel, for it creates the kind of community into which others are naturally drawn…. These commands translate love into action, mitigate the tensions that inevitably surface among Christians, and mollify the differences among believers so that, instead of suspicion, conflict and division the church models trust, harmony and unity. They enable the church to become a community of love.”
Note: Find the prayer prompt in the box that your community group can use each week as a summons to prayer. Reminder: Week 1 discussion questions are found at the end of this overview. Please consider purchasing the book, Love One Another, as a community group to have access to the questions each week.
Week 1 Prayer
Lord, You command us to love one another. May we become the Church for which You long — the Church that embodies and imitates Your very life in the world.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 2: Welcome One Another
Matthew 9:9-13; Romans 15:5-13 | August 8, 2021
“Welcome one another, therefore, Just as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”
Amid controversy in the church of Rome over dietary custom, Paul urges Christian brothers and sisters to “welcome one another in love.” Sittser suggests that “…to welcome requires us to embrace people as they are, whether strong or weak, educated or ignorant, right or wrong, saint or sinner.”
The New Testament uses the term “greet” to make the same point. It conveyed a sense of warm acceptance and genuine interest, going far beyond our superficial “hello.” It was a way of saying, “I’m glad you’re alive; I’m glad I know you; I’m glad we’re friends.”
And Jesus exhorts the disciples to welcome all sorts of people who would never be in their circle of friends while showing no partiality or favoritism.
Who are you welcoming in WCPC with the love of Christ that is most not like you?
Week 2 Prayer
Lord, You call us to welcome one another. May we embrace each other with warm acceptance and genuine interest. Guide us in forming new relationships, remembering names, commending accomplishments, expressing affection, and conferring blessings.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 3: Forbear One Another
Ephesians 4:1-6; 14-16 | August 15, 2021
“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
“God knows all About our stupidity and Bears wIth us in spite of it, ever loyal to us. He is good at forgiving, putting up with, looking past, and loving us through It. God Is forbearing toward us…. It should stagger us to consider how much god forbears. He bears with and loves us despite our smallness of mind, defensiveness, bad moods, obnoxious personalities, sour attitudes and petty concerns. He forbears like good parents who recognize that their immature children will someday become mature adults.” -Gerald Sittser
“Forbearance requires that we give people room- room to be who they are, to become who God intends, to contribute to the church and the world despite their imperfectIons…. the word forbear itself is important. A Biblical word, it requires more than just politeness, which, although preferable to rudeness, can still hide a disdainful, condescendIng attitude. To forbear also implies more than tolerance, which has become an obsession in modern culture. Tolerance can smack of relativism and compromise. Forbearance demands politeness and tolerance but also so much more. Forbearance is what I consider one of the foundational reciprocal commands, as are welcoming and subjection. It demands consistency.” -Gerald Sittser
Let me endeavor to get you off the hook here: “You don’t need to forbear someone any more than God does with you.” Where might you need to demonstrate more forbearance in your love for someone else?
Week 3 Prayer
Lord, you call us to forbear one another. May we suspend judgment, giving each other slack to be who we are and room to become who we will be in Christ. Make us more accepting, patient, and sensitive.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 4: Forgive One Another
Colossians 3:12-15; Matthew 18:21-35 | September 5, 2021
“Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgIve as the Lord forgave you.”
“I chose to write about forgiveness before confession because we are called to forgive even when no confession has been made. Forgiveness is a manifestation of mercy, given when it’s undeserved. Ideally, it’s offered to people who are truly sorry for their sin so the broken relationship can be mended. But sometimes we must forgive when there is no sign of repentance. As Jesus said on the cross, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.’… true forgiveness comes hard, especially in the church. I think that’s true for two reasons. First, we expect more from Christians. After all, they are disciples of Jesus. Christians disappoint us when they fall short of the standards they are supposed to uphold. Our expectations make failure more inexcusable and unforgivable. Second, Christians often fInd It more difficult to admit they are wrong. That, too, makes it harder to forgive them, for there is nothing worse than having to forgive someone unwIllIng to admit guilt. Christians can be stubbornly self-righteous when they believe they possess God’s truth. Their religious self-assurance makes them unreachaBle, no matter how convincing the evidence against them.” -Gerald Sittser
Where might you need to extend forgiveness to someone at WCPC? What might that look like?
Week 4 Prayer
Lord, you call us to forgive one another. May we be quick to admit our own wrongs and slow to become offended. Make us willing to extend mercy even when it is undeserved or no confession has been made, and open to the potential of renewed relationships.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 5: Confess Sin to and Pray for One Another
James 5:13-16; Luke 18:9-14 | September 12, 2021
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
“Confession levels the playing fIeld of the church. It mitigates conflicts that threaten to destroy us and disarms our opponents by demonstrating the way of humility to them. It reduces us to the needy people we are, regardless of where we come down on the issues.” -Gerald Sittser
“Confession makes us sinners before one another, breaks us of our self-righteousness and enables us to become a fellowship of sinners. Thus we become the church that is founded on Christ’s righteousness, not our own.” -Gerald Sittser
“ConfessIon exposes; prayer heals. confessIon takes responsibility for wrongdoIng; prayer asks God to help us do what is right. Confession acknowledges the human condition; prayer draws on the transcendent power of God. Confession admits to sin; prayer leads us to salvation. The two belong together as one mutuality command.” -Gerald Sittser
Do you have someone in your life to whom you regularly confess your sins? Someone with whom you regularly pray with and for?
Week 5 Prayer
Lord, you call us to confess sin to one another. May we acknowledge our areas of weakness, sin, and need before God. And help us cultivate safe and trustworthy relationships within this fellowship of sinners where we can vulnerably and honestly admit our wrongs.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Lord, you call us to pray for one another. May we remember your sufficiency to meet our deepest needs. Help us to diligently pray your grace, your love, your healing power, and your life-giving Word into the souls of our brothers and sisters in this fellowship.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 6: Serve One Another
Galatians 5:13-15; Mark 10:42-45 | September 19, 2021
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”
“To serve one another in the Body of Christ is to commit our resources—time, money, energy, and expertise—to meet the practical needs of fellow believers. Two different words Are translated as ‘serve’ from the Greek. We could translate one ‘to be a slave of,’ the other word ‘to wait on.’ Service implies that we wait on other people, as if we are choosing to be their slave.” -Gerald Sittser
Who at WCPC do you regularly serve?
Week 6 Prayer
Lord, you call us to serve one another. May we simplify our lives and sacrificially commit our resources – time, money, energy, and expertise – to meet the practical needs of fellow worshipers here. And give us the courage to vulnerably share our needs with others and the humility to receive others’ gifts.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 7: Encourage one Another
1 Thessalonians 5:1-11 | September 26, 2021
“Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.”
“Some church members are here one Sunday and gone the next, unwilling to volunteer for anythIng because they’re too busy, frequently late to meetings (If they show up at all), or inclined to jump from one church to another. The church exists for them, at least in part. But it’s able to exist for them only If most of its members show up week in and week out to teach Sunday school, bake cookies, rock crying babies, run the sound system, sing in the choir, pay their tithes, show up at committee meetings, type the newsletter, and visit shut-ins. The church needs a critical mass of ordinary faithful people in order to survive. We often fail to realize how much the church depends on such faithful people untIl they’re gone. Encouragement is the mutuality command that meets the needs of these faithful people. Encouragement is to people in the church what maintenance is to trucks and washing machines.” -Gerald Sittser
“Of all the commands, encouragement calls for careful attention to detail, elegance of style, beauty and sophistication.” -Gerald Sittser
How creative, lavish, and elegant are you in your service to others at WCPC?
Week 7 Prayer
Lord, you call us to encourage one another. May we honor and affirm the ordinary, faithful volunteers and leaders on whom this church depends. Use our spoken words, written words, hospitality, and humor to keep your servants going in faith, hope, and love.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 8: Comfort One Another
2 Corinthians 1:1-11 | October 3, 2021
“Praise be to the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble wIth the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
“Sooner or later every person loses someone or something important. Every person is forced to reconsider expectations—a long and healthy life, a happy marriage, a successful career—that unfavorable circumstances dash to the ground. Grief is a school every person must enter…. good comforters offer hope. They keep poIntIng to a time when life wIll not be mIserable anymore but will be good again, alive with meaning and purpose and Joy, even If that time will not arrive until we enter eternity. They believe in the God who gives hope, and they believe for sufferers who have no hope. They carry them into the future without pushing the future on them. They let them go through the process of grief, never minimizing, never exaggerating, never trivializing. They have hope too that the process will come to an end.” -Gerald Sittser
How might you comfort another with the comfort of Christ?
Week 8 Prayer
Lord, you call us to comfort one another. May we choose to get involved in both the obvious afflictions and quiet griefs of our brothers and sisters, allowing their sufferings to become our own. Make us a community of healing and hope, responding to pain with empathetic listening and practical help.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 9: Bear One Another’s Burdens
Galatians 6:2; John 19:25-42 | October 10, 2021
“Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
“Bearing burdens is inconvenient and disruptive. It requires that we be flexible, spontaneous and available. It’s costly…. Bearing burdens is a mandate given to the whole community, not just professional people-helpers or an exclusive group of super saints…. Bearing burdens demands a sacrifice of time, money, energy. We have no choice in the matter. We do have a choice, however, in determining how much time, money, and energy. Choices of this kind can be difficult, even torturous. Always saying no engenders guilt; never saying no leads to burnout and creates resentment.” -Gerald Sittser
Have you recently (or are you currently) bearing the burden of another at WCPC? What is that experience like for you? How do we practice boundaries and burden-bearing together?
Week 9 Prayer
Lord, you call us to bear one another’s burdens. May we possess enough flexibility, spontaneity, and availability to be inconvenienced and disrupted by the adversities of our brothers and sisters. Give us energy to lift and carry heavy burdens until they can get back on their feet, resume their journey, and follow Christ in an unhindered way.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Week 10: Stir Up One Another
Hebrews 10:19-25 | October 17, 2021
“And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more now as you see the day Approaching."
“Inertia in the Christian life is natural, and we must fight against it…. Stability and predictability cost us something. The cost is sameness, blandness, boredom and sometimes injustice…. The mutuality command ‘consider how to stir up one another to love and good deeds’ is intended to push Christians beyond the comfort zone. Outlined in the biblical command are five steps that must be taken to obey this command: concentration…strategy…action… direction…support…” -Gerald Sittser
Do you disciple people? Are you stirring them up towards love and good deeds?
Week 10 Prayer
Lord, you call us to stir up one another. May we inspire each other to overcome inertia, to consistently show up, and to move out of our comfort zones. Give us the courage to challenge each other to become like Christ and to pursue the highest and best to which you call us – in our homes, at church, at work, in our neighborhoods.
Lord, in your mercy.
Hear our prayer.
Discussion Questions Teaser
We hope that you and your group will purchase this book and make use of all of the discussion questions in the back. To whet your appetite here is a teaser…
Instructions from Gerald Sittser:
If you are reading the book alone, consider keeping a journal when you reflect on the discussion questions, making sure that you explore what it means for your relationships and your church. If you are reading the book as a group, consider passing the leadership around or, if one person functions as the designated leader, encourage members to take ownership of the group’s success.
Read and discuss the biblical texts, for every mutuality command is embedded in a biblical context that partly explains the command itself. Discussion of these texts is the most important work you can do.
Dare to apply the book’s ideas to your life. How can you welcome, comfort, encourage, pray for and admonish your brothers and sisters in Christ? How can your small group and church put these commands into practice? Try to be as specific and concrete in your application as you can. Consider doing one “homework” assignment a week. For example, when discussing the chapter on encouragement, write a letter of encouragement to someone. When exploring the chapter on service, take on a group project that will meet a concrete need. When reading the chapter on welcoming, throw a party and invite a circle of people you do not know very well.
Conclude each meeting with prayer, not a token prayer but conversational prayer that grows out of and applies the discussion.
Chapter 1: The New Commandment
- Share some experiences in which you have seen the church at its best and at its worst.
- What does it mean that Christ was the incarnation of God in the world? What do we learn about God through Jesus Christ? What difference did it make for us?
- What does it mean that the church is supposed to be the incarnation of Christ, his body in the world? Think of some concrete examples.
- Read Ephesians 2:11-22. What is the “dividing wall of hostility” Paul is referring to? How did that alienate the Gentiles? Can you think of other kinds of “dividing walls” today? How did Jesus break down that dividing wall? What happened as a result?
- Read Philippians 3:2-8. How did Paul view himself before his conversion? How did his conversion change his life? What does it mean to “count everything as loss” for the sake of Christ? How can you begin to do that?
- Describe what your church (or small group) would be like, as concretely as possible, if you truly loved one another.